"What Do Mommies Do When They Grow Up?" and Other Liam Thoughts

Liam is starting to amaze me, with his concepts and ideas.  He is starting to question things and try to understand his world more, conceptually-speaking. 

On Monday, I kept him home from school, since his cough was so rough.  We're hoping that we're on the road to recovery with this "being sick" stuff!  He truthfully seemed great later in the afternoon, but he did fall asleep in the floor, in front of the television before lunch.  He needed his rest, so it was good he stayed home. 

That afternoon, I was putting a movie in the DVD player for him to watch.  He turned to me and asked very surely, "Mommy, what do mommies do when they grow up?  Do they do movies and" (he paused, then heard the dryer running.  He thought for a brief second.) "and, uh, laundry?"  I thought it was incredibly sweet that he wondered what I did for a job.  Being that he doesn't normally spend the middle part of the day with me when Ava is at school, he was curious what it was I did with my time.  I told him I work for the phone company and help people by using my computer.  :) 

Yesterday, on the way to school, after working on his letters (alphabet) with him, I hear him in the back seat "Mom, why does Ava know her letters and I don't?"  Oh, sweet boy!  He doesn't realize that she has two years (plus) on him.  I told him that Ava learned her letters when she was three, that she is two years older than he is, and mentioned I could help him learn his letters, too.  I think he liked that idea.  He knows the alphabet song and can recognize some letters, but not all of them.  He can draw a circle (using his right hand, currently, but I wonder if his preference wouldn't be for his left hand?).  He can also draw the letter "L" and seems to point it out whenever he sees it.

One night last week, while putting him to bed, he mentioned he was scared.  He seems to have a fear of the dark lately, and will come down to our room in the wee hours of the morning, lay on a blanket with a pillow next to our bed.  To help calm his fears, I laid down with him.  I think it's the longest I've ever talked with Liam by himself!  (At least the most words he's ever said consecutively with me).  I think he was talking to try to keep himself from falling asleep.  He told me about experiences at school, his best friend (Ben), what he likes to do, asked questions, etc. 

For a while, Doug and I thought we might have three kids.  We never really questioned the number.  Doug came from a family of four, I came from a family of two.  So, why not three?  My comfort level is with two.  I know this.  As a working mom, I feel like three is outside the realm of what I could realistically handle right now.  It's a struggle to keep up with life, work, Ava's schooling and be sure to spend as much time as possible with each of them, let alone add another into the mix.  I just don't think it would be fair (at this time) to someone.  Someone would ge the short end of the stick.  Doug realized that if we are blessed with three (and / or "try" for three), it would only be for "numbers sake" and not because we have two boys or two girls and were hoping to have the opposite gender from the children we already have.  So that was a non-issue.  I've always heard with regard to best friends, as well, that it is always harder to have three best friends (instead of two); someone always gets left out.  Someone is always better friends amongst those three. 

Knowing this, even not being pregnant, I think I mourned the loss of attention I knew Liam would get if he were a middle child.  It made me so sad!  I think I tried to spoil him as a result.  He is spoil-worthy, regardless, that is for sure (as is Ava)!  :)  For now, I think we're happy with two.  I know I can handle two.  With three, I think we feel like someone might possibly be left out.  It almost seems like it would be easier to have four than three.  Right now, both kids are special for so many reasons, but also because they each have the market cornered in the gender department.  So, there you have it.  We're happy with two.  Our little family is complete.  If God blesses us with three, though, I KNOW we would be overjoyed. 

I say all of that to say that I was able to fully soak in the experience with Liam that night, listening to him talk about himself, experiences and ideas, instead of being pre-occupied with the thought of not having as much time / attention to spend with him in the future, if we did have three.  I know I probably sound off my rocker completely.  Cliff notes version - I'm so thankful for both of our kids and am trying to live in the moment and let the reality soak in, as to how amazing any given moment is with our family.  Make sense?

I am so anxious, though, to hear how Liam's sweet mind works and learn about his world, as her perceives it, in the coming days.  He is some fun. 

Peace, love and one full heart,
Shelly, Doug, Ava and Liam